If I had a dollar for each time I’m asked “HOW do you do it all?” I wouldn’t need to work! My answer is always the same ” I don’t know… I just do. I close my eyes and jump right in”. Yesterday marked one year since I started working back at the company that saw me get engaged, get married, get pregnant, go on maternity leave #1, return from maternity leave #1 and finally quit three months after returning. Despite the two year hiatus, I have a solid relationship with this company as you can see. A senior level executive once told me that I couldn’t “be a good mom and a good worker” and I think I’ll probably spend my entire life trying to call bullshit on that one – so perhaps I have him to thank for the way I juggle life?
I am part lucky and part hard working and this has enabled me to have a full time corporate gig ( Trade Marketing Manager), a part time consulting gig (Social Media Management) and a full time blogging and travel writing role whilst still being everything else we humans can be (mom, daughter, wife, sister, friend, frenemy….). I’m lucky because I work at a place that gives me the flexibility to do my job and juggle everything else. The company was not always like this but as our society evolves, so does the workplace. I work with a team that has young kids, know the struggles, are well aware of the 4 a.m. wake ups and excuse my puke stained pants (it was on the back of my legs.. I SWEAR I didn’t see it before I walked out the door!!). I will admit that my current portfolio isn’t one that requires a lot of TLC. I don’t really need the analytical skills I’ve honed over the years and through my MBA but I’m okay with that. I love that I don’t need to pull all nighters on a regular basis and that I don’t need to spend my weekends going over reports. Instead I spend those hours with the family or working on other projects (like this here blog!). Don’t worry, I’m still a good little worker!
I enjoy my walk to and from work more than anything else and as I turn around the corner three days a week, I ALWAYS look forward to a working day at the office. I get to pee in peace, step outdoors for lunch dates on a whim and interacting daily with friends I’ve known for the last 6 years. However I also have the flexibility to work from home two days a week and this is when I cuddle with Baby Boy on the couch at 11 a.m., work all day in my PJS, perhaps meet with a tourism contact or clean up the mess that is our house. Yes, I’ve had conference calls during our road trips and have worked on group presentations whilst holidaying in NYC, Portugal and even in Vermont. I’m totally cool with that flexible lifestyle. I’m especially thankful when I watch the kids play on our rooftop while I work from home during the summer. Now mind you, the biggest challenge is keeping Baby Boy away from my computer … which is why I usually have two laptops on me!
My advice to any young family is to find the right balance of structure and flexibility. I am thankful that I have found that balance. However “doing it all” means that I only sleep an average of 5 hours a night and stock up on sleep hours every weekend. I can juggle three jobs, family and friends because I WANT to. I am one of those people who needs to be constantly doing something and so this lifestyle works. I revel in the chaos that is my life.
Our house is messy and I don’t care. The only days our house doesn’t look like a tornado sped through it is when our nanny (a fabulous family friends of ours!) comes in two days a week. Mess drives me insane but it’s one of the factors I’ve come to terms with. I should also mention that this lifestyle of mine wouldn’t be possible if he hubs wasn’t fully hands on. He’s there in the trenches day in and day out and he too works from home – there’s that flexible balance I spoke of! We have a nanny two days a week, the hubs is on his own one day a week and then we both steer the ship on the other four days.
We may decide to rock the boat once Baby Boy goes to school in two years but for now, this balance of Little Monkey going to school, the hubs and I both working and having Baby Boy at home with a nanny two days a week- gives us the opportunity to balance the finances, continue to travel and maintain our pre-baby lifestyle, post baby!
How about you?… HOW do you do it all?
Abida
December 3, 2015 at 6:14 pmI’m not even a mom yet and I struggle! I am however super inspired by these super moms and take a lot of advice and tips from them.
Yashy
December 3, 2015 at 10:11 pmYou somehow learn to juggle when you have additional responsibilities. Don’t worry, you’ll do great!
nicolthepickle
December 4, 2015 at 1:12 pmSomeone once said to me, you can do everything but not all at once. And that’s how I do it. Right now I have three littles, and my house is usually alright. And I cook and garden. I don’t feel that busy right now. But I know that there are seasons.
I probably worked harder when I was “working”, but this is good for right now.
I think like you said, “I close my eyes and jump in” is the best way to handle whatever comes.
Yashy
December 6, 2015 at 7:41 pmThank you for sharing this with me Nicole! Really helps to know there are others like me!!
Treen Goodwin
December 5, 2015 at 5:44 amI sure is a hard thing to do , but somehow it all falls in place and you learn to Juggle it all 🙂
Yashy
December 6, 2015 at 7:39 pmJuggling is a skill we all learn!
JaimeeM
December 5, 2015 at 9:30 ambalancing life and work and family can be tough
AD
December 7, 2015 at 10:03 pmI am very Type A, very much geared towards being successful (especially in my chosen profession), but I have learned a few things about how to make it all work:
1) Don’t sweat the small stuff.
2) It’s okay to not be perfect (that means, skip vacuuming and instead spend time with your kids).
3) Plan and be prepared (so if the kiddo spills your coffee on your nice blouse, have a back up in your office closet to change into).
4) Communication (with the kids and the partner). And also find someone to whom you can vent or share your experiences with (a sounding board works wonders at keeping you sane).
5) Ask for help (its okay to ask your Mum or Dad to step in and pick up the kids if you suddenly have to work late, or if something else comes up – they ACTUALLY want to spend the time with the kids!).
6) Have a partner who understands and is an equal in your relationship.
Yashy
December 8, 2015 at 9:21 amLove your points!!! I agree with all of them and definitely plan on printing these out for future reference. Thanks for sharing.
Tracey Flattes
December 8, 2015 at 3:41 pmI am a working mom raising two young kids single handedly – it’s tough! However, the fact that I have a routine and expectations makes it far easier to manage. I also find it easier NOT having to rely on anyone else to help out!
Yashy
December 9, 2015 at 9:08 amso glad to hear you have a balance Tracey. I hope you manage to get some time for yourself occasionally.
jay nelson
December 21, 2015 at 10:51 amWe don’t quite do it all. We decided to both do some stay at home parenting which has resulted in a greatly reduced cash flow. Some of my co-workers say I am lucky I can do this. It is not luck, it is just what we choose and there are both pros and cons. We rarely eat out and a holiday is usually at a local camp ground.
Yashy
December 21, 2015 at 3:17 pmI think the key is finding that balance and figuring out which sacrifices to make. Sounds like you guys know exactly what you need for a happy family life and have found that balance. Happy Holidays Jay!!
Tori
March 2, 2016 at 12:08 pmBeing a working parents is ROUGH. I was a stay-at-home mom for about 8 years, but also worked prior to that when I was a single parent to my oldest. I’ve been on both sides of the game and there isn’t an “easy” side. There are definite pros and cons to both (yay, paycheques!), but one is not tougher than the other. I’ve only been back in the workforce for just about 6 months and am currently working 2 part-time jobs (looking at a possible third), as well as taking care of my 3 children, and our home. I also take on baking orders and need to make time for day-to-day stuff, my marriage, and myself. I totally think you can be a good parent and a good worker, just maybe not right at the same moment, as something needs to take priority. There’s no reason we can’t be great workers at work, and great parents at home.
Yashy
March 2, 2016 at 1:50 pmCheers to you Tori! Life is what we make of it, right? We just have to keep re-evaluating our situation every so often to ensure we don’t burn ourselves out.
AmyM
April 26, 2016 at 2:56 pmMy key so far has been to NOT do it all! haha
If I feel one week like I need to focus more on fitness, then the housework falls down a peg. The next week I might prioritize house and less on making all the dinners from scratch. It’s about balance so you don’t get overwhelmed. And it’s about asking for help, and also giving help when you can so the special people in your life know how much you appreciate them. For instance, I might only half pay attention to an episode of my favourite show while I cut out shapes for my daughter’s daycare to make collages out of. They are so appreciative that I took that time, because they don’t have to do the prep during THEIR home time. That makes me feel great! Win win!
Yashy
April 27, 2016 at 7:14 pmLove that you help out with the collages..I need to start doing stuff like that, though the way I cut, the teacher may be happier without me. lol
Tara Gauthier
December 24, 2018 at 12:44 amIt’s definitely all about balance and realizing that it’s just not realistic the majority of the time to do it all! I’v learned that I have to let go of some things and pace myself. We have two kids with additional needs and at some times of the year like start of school it leaves us busy with appointments with schools, emails, meetings etc so I let other things slide if need be and give myself time to relax. I tell myself it’s okay to not be everything for everyone all at once either, just leads to burnout. I am lucky to have a full time job with good benefits like leave for school functions, appointments to help us balance it. My husband is a stay at home parent and goes to school which has helped us especially when kids were going through things like weekly speech therapy, appointments for hearing aid fittings, etc. Bottom line, do what works for you as a family – best advice someone gave me when we had our firstborn.
Yashy
January 2, 2019 at 11:43 amyes!! We totally agree that doing what’s best for your family is the ONLY way to live a happy life!