How I met your…

This Thursday marks my 3rd wedding anniversary and in celebration I plan to share a couple stories and videos. How couples met always intrigues me and so this week, each day, you will get a narration on how three couples met their soulmates and the challenges they faced. Our parents are great role models for us and we continue to learn from them and be inspired, so to kick off the week I am going to share our parents’ stories. Then you’ll get to hear how my husband and I met each other and fret not…you will get both our perspectives. These four stories were written three and half years ago for our wedding website and I thought it is about time they made an appearance on my blog! I will weave in a couple videos for all you wedding video lovers out there! Would love to hear your stories… comment away!

My parents Ranju and Kumari : Written from my mother’s perspective. My parents were living in Colombo, Sri Lanka when they first met each other. This December they will be celebrating their 34th wedding anniversary.

Well, you ask about our side of the story. First let me tell you, to most of the people who know us, it is a “fairy tale” marriage. We listened to Jesus, “love thy neighbor” but forgot the rest… “not their son”!! I was a kid, about 16, and Ranju was my brother’s friend. It was a gang of three… the three musketeers, Rohan (my bro), Ranju, & Roshan (Ranju”s good friend) used to go out dancing every Friday and Saturday night. I come from a very conservative family. We were not allowed to go out alone and even if a friend invited us, either my dad or one of my brothers (I have a cousin, Lalith, who was brought up by my parents since he was a kid and has become our eldest bro) used to drop and pick us up! My bro being a boy who hung out with two good boys, from good families from the neighbourhood, got permission to go out and have fun while we three girls stayed home. Then, my bro was packed off to the Grand Hotel at Nuwara Eliya to become a Chef. Apart from playing with our friends in the neighbourhood we used to talk with Ranju and Roshan outside our door. First it was just a hello, slowly it became longer and longer. Then we really got closer to both “Ranju Aiya” and “Roshan Aiya” (Aiya= older brother) and started going to school carnivals; of course with my Mum chaperoning us!

I don’t know how and when, but we both fell in love with each other. On October 5th 1975 Ranju said he loved me. I was so scared of my family and yet said I do too! He was working at Pakistan International Airlines at the time and used to call me from his office. My sisters somehow found out and then “all hell broke loose.” They told my parents and Ranju and Roshan were barred from our home. To cut the long story short, I was beaten, sent to live with my aunts and uncles and my dad harassed Ranju’s family and was ready to do anything to stop us. They tried every possible thing to stop us both but I was determined to win my way! I being a Sinhalese and he being a Tamil was the only cause of this trouble. His dad was my dad’s friend and they stopped talking to each other. My family looks at cast, creed and color! None of my immediate or extended family married outside a Sinhalese “Govigama cast.” I was the first to break the tradition! My aunt Madura helped us and encouraged us because my paternal grandpa objected to my uncle marrying her just because they used to sing at Radio Ceylon! They were madly in love with each other and somehow won their battle too. My cousin Sandra (My dad’s elder bro’s daughter) also helped me during my stay with them by allowing me to call and chat with Ranju while Nana and her mum took their afternoon siesta!

I used to write letters (pretending to be studying) and leave it on the neighbour’s windowsill so that Ranju’s servant boy could collect it and leave a letter for me there, for me to collect before anyone could see. No more telephone calls for us and he was barred from coming to his back yard. Then one day my dad talked to Ranju and told him, “When you can stand on your two feet and give my daughter the comforts that I give, come, and I will give you my consent. Till then, please stay away and let her study.” Then there was a gap of a few months where we had no connection with each other. Ranju moved to Nugegoda to live with a friend. My cousins Ravi and Kumuduni got closer to us. It was they who brought us together by getting me to call Ranju when their parents were out. In 1977 I was going to Hotel School. Every morning my dad used to drop me and after school I had to walk to Galle Face Hotel, he would then put me on the bus to go home. I used to get off at the next halt and go to Ceylinco (opposite direction) where Ranju used to work (Kuwait Airways) and then we both took a bus home without wasting time and talked on the way home. He used to get off a halt before mine and take a bus back to Fort while I walked home on time so that my parents didn’t suspect that I was meeting Ranju. Then mid August 1977, Ranju went to Dubai. Prior to leaving he came and told my dad about his move and that he would come back in one year to get married. My parents were thrilled (because he was leaving)! I was with Air Ceylon working as a ground hostess and they finally relaxed thinking that I would find another boy and forget this Tamil Boy! A year later Ranju sent a letter and came back to get married! By this time they realized that they had no choice but to give in. Yet they were not ready to tell the family that they were giving away their daughter to a “Tamil Boy” and totally refused a big wedding reception. We had a nice church wedding with a full house and went down south for our honeymoon. Two weeks later we both flew to Dubai and lived there for 10 years before we started our gypsy life of moving from place to place every three years. Ranju became the best son-in-law! The rest is history.

 Come by tomorrow to find out how my new set of parents met!  

Update :

Part 2 of 4 click here

Part 3 of 4 click here

Part 4 of 4 click here