The birthing story and then some

Last year today, October 16th, was a Sunday and the Little Monkey was 10 days past her due date despite me having tried every wives tale possible ( 15 chili dishes from Salad King, raspberry leaf tea by the gallon, castor oil…. ). I had been so sure that she’d be arriving early and had even planned to have her Baptized on the 16th. HAH! Jokes on me… I think it’s time to share our birthing story, because it seems that everyone loves a good birthing story. And by good, I mean… Random. Unplanned. Drama. A happy ending.

After a bit of begging whining and pleading, the staff at St. Michael’s finally agreed to induce me. On the 15th evening I went in and they slipped a Foley balloon catheter in me. While it might be fairly natural in that it’s drug free, it’s pretty gross and slightly painful. The goal of this induction is to cause the cervix to open.  Before you go imagining Krusty the Clown blowing party balloons, let me tell you that it’s one of those thin loooooooooong balloons (well maybe it’s a medical balloon) and they slip it in (yes down there…) and pump it with saline solution before clamping it up. You’re left with a long deflated portion hanging on your leg and it’s super gross because it keeps dripping all sorts of blood and goo while you’re sent home to ‘sleep’ and do as you please as long as you remember to tug on the catheter a couple times every hour. They told me to come back as soon as the balloon slips out (that means I’m dilating) and if it hasn’t fallen out in 24 hours time then I was to come back again. Just greaaaaat.

So we went home, gathered the family for Thanksgiving dinner and continued doing everything to speed along the process. Nothing happened except a few cramps and me dripping all over the house and town (It’s quite gross this whole balloon catheter thing!). I had a fairly good night’s sleep mixed with excitement for the possibilities that lay ahead.  Next day at 10 a.m. my cramps were getting a bit more serious and we were ready to head back to the hospital as 24 hours had passed. I wanted to walk over with my bag and pillow but then soon realized that I had packed quite a bit of junk to take along with us.. Gatorade  snacks for the “guests”, entertainment, my own birthing gown… the list went on. After being chauffeured and having checked in, a lovely doctor (who looked like she was no older than sweet 16!) told me that things are looking good, I was 4 cms along and it shouldn’t be too long. YAY! I liked her!

We were given our own room which I went about spritzing and making pretty before getting comfy on my bed (AFTER applying make up touches of course!). The visitors started rolling in, Sunday football was ordered and there was talk of Dominos. This seemed like a regular party at this stage. I was fine, the contractions had started, the nurses were rolling in with their jello and bland soup (luckily I had a big breakfast and my mom snuck in some sandwiches). Alright. Tick Tock. 4 o clock and they tell me I’m only 2 cms in. ERR what? Apparently that first doctor had small hands. Okay then. This goes on and on … back and forth. I’m getting annoyed now. 

Come 8 p.m they tell me that things aren’t moving along and they would like to give me some drugs to induce (Pitocin or Oxy .. I forget which) but they said they’d like start with the smallest dose to see how things go ( I had warned them that I’m not allergic to much and that my body rarely reacts to drugs). They pump me up and off they go.. la di da… hopefully things will speed up. Usual in and out of staff and family members. Phone calls, texts and Facebook messages are rolling in. Around 9 they come in with a male student resident (urgh.. I’ve been trying my best to avoid the male staff! Just not my thaang) and tell me that I’m still not dilating past 5 cm and that it might be a while.. YEAH. Pass that EPI will ya? If I’m going to be here for another two days. I need me my drugs.

While they go to get the epi prepped and ready, I’m just lounging around… one the nurses looks at the screen while she’s walking out the door and tells me “tell that kid to behave”. I laugh. In rushes 7 (or so it seemed) doctors and nurses, yelling, asking me to flip, poking me. Mini heart beat monitors and all sorts of tools are being shoved down there and I hear ‘prep the OR’. My body goes numb and I’m just staring at the hubs as he holds my hands. This wasn’t good.  Then after what seemed like ages I hear a sigh of relief in the room. While it felt like forever and a half and thoughts of .. “obviously this smooth pregnancy was too good to be true.. I mean no morning sickness? Bikram during the first two months, Bootcamp at 6 months? What? ” went through my mind, it apparently was 4 minutes. 4 crucial minutes when the Little Monkey’s heartbeat had stopped and lucky for us the doctors and nurses at St. Michael’s are good at their job and they were able to help our family.

With things back to normal they wanted to monitor me for a while before making a decision on next steps and by around 11 o clock they advised a c-section. Not an ideal scenario, but to be honest I had no scenario in mind. I wanted a natural birth as long as it was safe for everyone, but both my moms had c-sections so it wasn’t unexpected. So we got mentally prepared for the C and after an emergency C was performed on another patient I was slotted in for an early morning surgery. They’d given me the epi by this point and I was as happy as can be, especially since I had confidence in the doctors and nurses around me. They had told me that they can have the bub in my hand in a minute or two with a c-section, so that’s all I needed to hear! Why had we waited so long!!??!

Oh wait.. it’s now the 17th! The day my paternal grandfather was born! Quick.. we need a name beginning with a V !! That’s what I yelled at the hubs between the delivery room and the surgery room… so out came the iPhone and scroll he did. For some odd reason I thought of the country Vienna and that’s how the Little Monkey got one of her middle names. Until that point we had two options for the first and middle names and out of the blue she had a third name tagged on.

The actual c-section was quite blurry, they did the local anesthesia which made my body numb and the doctors did their magic. We were in and out fairly quickly and the Little Monkey entered the world at 2 a.m weighing 7 pounds and 2 ounces. I don’t remember much after that because I was shivering like crazy from the anesthesia and once I was wheeled to the recovery room, all I could do was shiver and then realize that I couldn’t breathe. They brought the oxygen masks and tried to convince me that I could talk which meant that my lungs were functioning. It was just the drugs and the anesthesia taking its toll. I don’t remember holding the little

one, but I do remember telling the nurse that there’s no way I could breastfeed at this stage. That didn’t stop the nurse asking me numerous times to try. This went on for a while and finally an hour later I was able to hold the Little Monkey and feed her. Shortly after that I opened her Facebook account. Luckily for me I was able to walk a couple hours after the c-section and I think this helped me recover quicker than expected. 

The following two days were spent recovering and receiving guests at the hospital and bonding with the newest member. I cannot thank the staff at St. Michael’s enough and the support of our friends and family. We made it through the hospital experience and weren’t too scarred by it!

Here’s a few pictures that were taken with me attached to the IV (great photography eh!) 4 hours after the delivery.