Where Are Your Friends?

Call me crazy but I actually love hanging out with my single and kid free friends…and having my kids along! Relationships are constantly changing and having young kids enter the picture can drastically impact the rapport you had with your single pals. I’ve read many articles where moms complain about how their friends no longer understand them or their current lifestyle with tots in tow but the hubs and I must be a rare breed because we actually, genuinely like hanging out with our single and DINK (double income, no kids) friends. I’ve also read my fair share of kid free folks voicing their dislike of hanging out with friends who have kids and heard learned from their complaints. I think we’ve found the balance somewhere along our journey.

Prior to having kids we used to love clubbing and partying and that side of things did change but I don’t think it changed because we had kids. It changed because we grew older, as did our circle of friends. We now prefer pubs, lounges and house parties more than the strobe lights and deafening beats of the latest DJ spinning at the newest hideout. After having Little Monkey we continued to host our parties and entertain at home quite frequently. My house is messy, there’s milk stains all over our couch and cheerios crushed on the carpet, but our booze cabinet is well stocked. The major change has been that I no longer have delicious dishes all prepped for when company comes along. Our friends now know to either bring food along with them or that we would decide as a group to order delivery. We’re lucky our friends adapted to our new lifestyle and that they still want to hangout with us despite us having to stop conversations to kiss a booboo or watch Little Monkey twirl. They’re especially patient when it comes time to change diapers and plop the kids to bed, because they know we’ll give them our undivided attention….well I may have passed out on the couch on a couple occasions. OOPPS!

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy hanging out with my friends with kids as well. They’re the best for play dates and hitting the parks and playgrounds with, especially when us adults can enjoy a fine beverage with the kids amusing themselves. However there’s something I enjoy about the single and kid free folks…you know what that is?

• They aren’t tired of running around, jumping over and cleaning up after kids
• They rarely cancel on plans at the very last minute
• They are open to last minute gatherings
• They also love talking about non kid oriented topics

These peeps haven’t spent their whole day answering to “Look at me! Look mom look!!MOM!Mom.. mummmyyy” or wiping running noses or having to ensure tiny people are safe and out of harms way. Instead, these friends are more than happy to take the kids off our hands and will gladly look at everything Baby Boy and Little Monkey want to show them (yes even scribbles that don’t look like anything). While they do that I can guzzle sip my wine or stir up a Manhattan. The kids soon get bored of us leave us alone and we continue our conversations or play Catan or what have you. I find it easier to chillax with those without kids but at the same time my life would be incomplete without occasional sessions with those who have kids like ours. It’s all about the balance with the scale tilting in favour of the kid free folks.

The next time you hear new parents whine about losing contact with their pre-baby social circles, remind them that they can still maintain those relationships.

• You just have to train introduce your friends to your new way of life
• Ensure that you still pay attention to them and be there for the tales and happenings in their life
• My biggest advice is to ensure you mix in some kid free nights with the singles and DINKs because those will create some memorably epic moments

Those that don’t want to be around kids will automatically remove themselves from your social scene and prefer to meet up for one on ones, and that’s fine too. If you still want to hang out with your friends and your kids, there’s bound to be quite a few in your social circle who’d love to do so, as long as you make it enjoyable for all. In my case I see less and less of friends with kids who have moved out of the city and linking with them has become more of a special occasion meet up than casual hangout sessions.

I’d truly go insane if I didn’t have my weekly dose of hangout sessions with my singles and DINKs. I’d probably be even more insane than I already am.

What’s your take? Do you still hang out with your kid free friends or if you’re kid free do you still enjoy hanging out with those that have kids?