Where Are Your Friends?

Why I enjoy hanging out with the kid (Custom)Call me crazy but I actually love hanging out with my single and kid free friends…and having my kids along! Relationships are constantly changing and having young kids enter the picture can drastically impact the rapport you had with your single pals. I’ve read many articles where moms complain about how their friends no longer understand them or their current lifestyle with tots in tow but the hubs and I must be a rare breed because we actually, genuinely like hanging out with our single and DINK (double income, no kids) friends. I’ve also read my fair share of kid free folks voicing their dislike of hanging out with friends who have kids and heard learned from their complaints. I think we’ve found the balance somewhere along our journey.


Prior to having kids we used to love clubbing and partying and that side of things did change but I don’t think it changed because we had kids. It changed because we grew older, as did our circle of friends. We now prefer pubs, lounges and house parties more than the strobe lights and deafening beats of the latest DJ spinning at the newest hideout. After having Little Monkey we continued to host our parties and entertain at home quite frequently. My house is messy, there’s milk stains all over our couch and cheerios crushed on the carpet, but our booze cabinet is well stocked. The major change has been that I no longer have delicious dishes all prepped for when company comes along. Our friends now know to either bring food along with them or that we would decide as a group to order delivery. We’re lucky our friends adapted to our new lifestyle and that they still want to hangout with us despite us having to stop conversations to kiss a booboo or watch Little Monkey twirl. They’re especially patient when it comes time to change diapers and plop the kids to bed, because they know we’ll give them our undivided attention….well I may have passed out on the couch on a couple occasions. OOPPS!

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy hanging out with my friends with kids as well. They’re the best for play dates and hitting the parks and playgrounds with, especially when us adults can enjoy a fine beverage with the kids amusing themselves. However there’s something I enjoy about the single and kid free folks…you know what that is?

  • They aren’t tired of running around, jumping over and cleaning up after kids
  • They rarely cancel on plans at the very last minute
  • They are open to last minute gatherings
  • They also love talking about non kid oriented topics

IMG_20150428_213020These peeps haven’t spent their whole day answering to “Look at me! Look mom look!!MOM!Mom.. mummmyyy” or wiping running noses or having to ensure tiny people are safe and out of harms way. Instead, these friends are more than happy to take the kids off our hands and will gladly look at everything Baby Boy and Little Monkey want to show them (yes even scribbles that don’t look like anything). While they do that I can guzzle sip my wine or stir up a Manhattan. The kids soon get bored of us leave us alone and we continue our conversations or play Catan or what have you. I find it easier to chillax with those without kids but at the same time my life would be incomplete without occasional sessions with those who have kids like ours. It’s all about the balance with the scale tilting in favour of the kid free folks.


The next time you hear new parents whine about losing contact with their pre-baby social circles, remind them that they can still maintain those relationships.

  • You just have to train introduce your friends to your new way of life
  • Ensure that you still pay attention to them and be there for the tales and happenings in their life
  • My biggest advice is to ensure you mix in some kid free nights with the singles and DINKs because those will create some memorably epic moments


IMG_20150404_161953Those that don’t want to be around kids will automatically remove themselves from your social scene and prefer to meet up for one on ones, and that’s fine too. If you still want to hang out with your friends and your kids, there’s bound to be quite a few in your social circle who’d love to do so, as long as you make it enjoyable for all. In my case I see less and less of friends with kids who have moved out of the city and linking with them has become more of a special occasion meet up than casual hangout sessions.

I’d truly go insane if I didn’t have my weekly dose of hangout sessions with my singles and DINKs. I’d probably be even more insane than I already am.


What’s your take? Do you still hang out with your kid free friends or if you’re kid free do you still enjoy hanging out with those that have kids?

  • Sarah
    April 29, 2015 at 10:05 am

    it took us a while to learn it but now we realize and have reconnected with a lot of friends. Very thankful to have them in our lives.

  • Kitty
    April 29, 2015 at 10:06 am

    I love (other people’s) kids. But over the years friends’ pregnancy announcements have started to feel more like funeral announcements – somber & macabre. I’ve “lost” dozens of friends to parenthood over the years. And every single one of them swore they wouldn’t let their new lifestyle affect who they are or what they do (it’s actually quite comical to hear their naive pledges of “nothing is gonna change”).
    I don’t resent them changing. Quite frankly I would de-friend them if they didn’t change. Because a person who doesn’t adapt their lifestyle as they go from childfree to parenthood is almost definitively a bad parent. So change is positive. However, while applauding my friends’ for this change does not negate the fact that I miss them or how we defined our friendship in the past…
    Though I have never viewed this change as you’ve described it Yashy – who you “like” to spend time with. I’ve always thought it was due to more mundane things like logistics (lol) ie I love my friends & their kids, but, I don’t love weekend mornings. And by the time I’m ready to socialize they’re ready for bed!
    There’s a great article on AskMen.com that perfectly describes the dynamics of my friendship with most of my peeps with chicklets, Below is an excerpt and a link to the full article:

    “All of my married friends cheat on their wives. Occasionally, they sneak away for the evening or weekend and ignore all family commitments, drink a little more than usual and spend time with the next best thing to the woman in their lives: me [the single friend].”


    • Yashy
      May 1, 2015 at 12:54 am

      Timing does factor in for many but my thinking is that everyone’s always up for afternoon pints! So you can always make it happen if you want to … also I think an issue which I may have not harped on is the fact that many people feel that each side doesn’t understand the other (different priorities & such). Lifestyles do change but you can adapt and make small changes I believe. Nice read on that article!

  • {Erica}EverythingMomandBaby
    April 29, 2015 at 10:57 am

    We host a lot of get togethers 🙂 But I have lost some girlfriends down the road. Goes to show who your real friends are. C’est la vie. Now I’d like that Manhattan 😉

    • Yashy
      May 1, 2015 at 12:51 am


  • Bewildered Bug
    May 2, 2015 at 4:32 pm

    I loved hanging out with you and your daughter. She is so adorable and stylish too! At this point in time, pretty much everyone I hang out with has children, so I am the exception! I love kids though, I know a lot of singletons and DINKs (as you call them – love that) don’t but I am totally for it! The kids are part of your life, so if I want to part of it too, they’re a package with you, right?!

    • Yashy
      May 3, 2015 at 9:56 pm

      Aww thanks! We really are a package indeed!

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